Is Die A Good Solution?

Hi Everyone!!!


I'm Back!!!


Well, frankly, the moment I type out this post, I'm totally moodless and I just force myself to type it out. Due to some personal reasons which I prefer not to tell.


For now, what I have or rather what I left is just myself. My body, my head, my hands, my legs and my interior organs. ENOUGH!!! I got enough of that!!! I'm sick of that!!! I'm sick of all the things that surround me such as jokes for example. You all will think that I might be gone mad. But I tell you, I really got enough of that. I really can't take it anymore.


Every seconds, I'm struggling, fighting, and wrestle with the pressure that inside me. You all might think that the stupid pressure that inside me might be something easy to overcome such as study pressure. Well, I tell you not because if it's just like what in your mind, it would have no problem for me and I'm pretty sure that I can beat it off easily. But, too bad, it's not.


This pressure can't be explained. Even I'm fighting with it for so long, I still can't explain and I still can't find a way to overcome it, to defeat it. Every seconds now, I'm struggling, fighting and wrestle with it. I've tried my best and all my methods to overcome it but at last I still can't beat it. And now, the condition turn even worse and I find myself very near to the losing side.


For a moment, I thought of suicide to end all of it. Unfortunately, I've promised someone that I must live on and my life is no longer belongs to myself because there is one time the someone told that my life belongs to her. She will securing my life and I myself don't have the right to take it away. Due to that, I can't die or rather i don't have the right to die. Hahaha!!! Funny right?


But i really don't know what can I do now. No ways I can sweep way or beat the pressure. Every seconds, I suffer so much that I think that my surroundings are totally like hell. I really can't take it anymore and any longer.


For a moment, I thought that I've beaten the pressure and I'm the winner. The pressure is no longer inside me. But, at last, I find out that it is still inside me. It's impossible to beat it. I'm exhausted and very tired of fighting. I'm in the condition that I can't neither survive nor die. This is the worst condition in everyone's life.


After consulting an experience and knowledgeable person, I found out that the pressure that I'm fighting with for so long or rather my toughest, strongest, hardest opponent is actually..........No matter who or what my opponent or challenge is, I will just beat the person or it with all I got but I've never face such an opponent. I've given all I got. Frankly, I can't win. I'm in the condition which I want to give up and say I QUIT!!!


My toughest, strongest and hardest opponent is..........



MY HEART!!!