My 1st 3 words are OMG!!!
My 1st monthly test of form 6 is just around the corner.
But..........I just started my revision or rather my studies because I just started to touch my books lately.
SHIT!!! I've no confident in this test at all and I'M SCARE!!!
Anyway, I"ll try my best to pass every paper.
I don't aim to score but just to pass. I'll be very thankful and satisfied if I can pass all the papers in this test.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
SPM July Paper 2009 PROMO!!!
This is the continuation of the post entitle "I Have A Dream".
The moment after I received my SPM result, I went back home. Although I'm ashamed, but that's the fact. Nothing I can do to change it or to make it better. No matter what, I've to face my family, my friends and everyone.
Since that moment, I despise myself and I feel my life is meaningless.
So, just after I returned home that day and my family has known my results, I made a choice. That's just one thing in my mind. In front of all my family members, I announced that I'm going to retake SPM which will be the SPM July Paper 2009.
At first, all of them disagree. My mom said that it's not an easy one. It's not like normal SPM. It's times harder and the marking will be very strict. Besides, my uncle, my grandmother and one of my friend(the only friend that always support me whenever I fall down) said that it's not necessary. They said why not I just go into form 6 and challenge STPM.
But finally, I told them I've already made up my mind and no matter what is the obstacles or difficulties, I will just face it. My dream was vanished, my life is meaningless, I've lost everything. SPM July Paper? It's totally nothing. I will take it!!! I will get back that 1A for my Mathematics paper(there 're only 2 papers offered in July paper which is Math & BM but BM need to have oral test, so I just take Math).
I've promised my family, my friends and the friend who always support me that I will get back that 1A. It makes me fight, it makes me hungry, it makes me wanna get the feeling of getting it back. I will fight like my life on the line. I will get back what belongs to me. 1A!!! & My dignity!!!
The moment after I received my SPM result, I went back home. Although I'm ashamed, but that's the fact. Nothing I can do to change it or to make it better. No matter what, I've to face my family, my friends and everyone.
Since that moment, I despise myself and I feel my life is meaningless.
So, just after I returned home that day and my family has known my results, I made a choice. That's just one thing in my mind. In front of all my family members, I announced that I'm going to retake SPM which will be the SPM July Paper 2009.
At first, all of them disagree. My mom said that it's not an easy one. It's not like normal SPM. It's times harder and the marking will be very strict. Besides, my uncle, my grandmother and one of my friend(the only friend that always support me whenever I fall down) said that it's not necessary. They said why not I just go into form 6 and challenge STPM.
But finally, I told them I've already made up my mind and no matter what is the obstacles or difficulties, I will just face it. My dream was vanished, my life is meaningless, I've lost everything. SPM July Paper? It's totally nothing. I will take it!!! I will get back that 1A for my Mathematics paper(there 're only 2 papers offered in July paper which is Math & BM but BM need to have oral test, so I just take Math).
I've promised my family, my friends and the friend who always support me that I will get back that 1A. It makes me fight, it makes me hungry, it makes me wanna get the feeling of getting it back. I will fight like my life on the line. I will get back what belongs to me. 1A!!! & My dignity!!!
Friday, May 29, 2009
I Have A Dream
Yesterday, at school, my MUET teacher asked us to discuss about the topic "I Have A Dream". She called up students one by one to tell the whole class about their dreams. All of them told about their ambitions, they wanna be rich, be famous, be professional. When it was my turn to tell, I just simply told about what i am going to do in the future such as my ambition which actually not. I created that in the last minute. All NONSENSE!!!
Why? I don't have a dream or rather it was vanished. It's all gone.
For the moment I received my SPM results, my dream was vanished. Completely vanished. Each day, my road to my dream faded further and further away. When I were asked the question "So my friend, how's your SPM results?", I'm ashamed although they said that "It's okay, my friend, work harder to get a better one next time." I'm ashamed, I look down on myself, I despise myself.
This Is One Of The Biggest Lose In My Life..........
Why? I don't have a dream or rather it was vanished. It's all gone.
For the moment I received my SPM results, my dream was vanished. Completely vanished. Each day, my road to my dream faded further and further away. When I were asked the question "So my friend, how's your SPM results?", I'm ashamed although they said that "It's okay, my friend, work harder to get a better one next time." I'm ashamed, I look down on myself, I despise myself.
This Is One Of The Biggest Lose In My Life..........
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Is Die A Good Solution?
Hi Everyone!!!
I'm Back!!!
Well, frankly, the moment I type out this post, I'm totally moodless and I just force myself to type it out. Due to some personal reasons which I prefer not to tell.
For now, what I have or rather what I left is just myself. My body, my head, my hands, my legs and my interior organs. ENOUGH!!! I got enough of that!!! I'm sick of that!!! I'm sick of all the things that surround me such as jokes for example. You all will think that I might be gone mad. But I tell you, I really got enough of that. I really can't take it anymore.
Every seconds, I'm struggling, fighting, and wrestle with the pressure that inside me. You all might think that the stupid pressure that inside me might be something easy to overcome such as study pressure. Well, I tell you not because if it's just like what in your mind, it would have no problem for me and I'm pretty sure that I can beat it off easily. But, too bad, it's not.
This pressure can't be explained. Even I'm fighting with it for so long, I still can't explain and I still can't find a way to overcome it, to defeat it. Every seconds now, I'm struggling, fighting and wrestle with it. I've tried my best and all my methods to overcome it but at last I still can't beat it. And now, the condition turn even worse and I find myself very near to the losing side.
For a moment, I thought of suicide to end all of it. Unfortunately, I've promised someone that I must live on and my life is no longer belongs to myself because there is one time the someone told that my life belongs to her. She will securing my life and I myself don't have the right to take it away. Due to that, I can't die or rather i don't have the right to die. Hahaha!!! Funny right?
But i really don't know what can I do now. No ways I can sweep way or beat the pressure. Every seconds, I suffer so much that I think that my surroundings are totally like hell. I really can't take it anymore and any longer.
For a moment, I thought that I've beaten the pressure and I'm the winner. The pressure is no longer inside me. But, at last, I find out that it is still inside me. It's impossible to beat it. I'm exhausted and very tired of fighting. I'm in the condition that I can't neither survive nor die. This is the worst condition in everyone's life.
After consulting an experience and knowledgeable person, I found out that the pressure that I'm fighting with for so long or rather my toughest, strongest, hardest opponent is actually..........No matter who or what my opponent or challenge is, I will just beat the person or it with all I got but I've never face such an opponent. I've given all I got. Frankly, I can't win. I'm in the condition which I want to give up and say I QUIT!!!
My toughest, strongest and hardest opponent is..........
MY HEART!!!
I'm Back!!!
Well, frankly, the moment I type out this post, I'm totally moodless and I just force myself to type it out. Due to some personal reasons which I prefer not to tell.
For now, what I have or rather what I left is just myself. My body, my head, my hands, my legs and my interior organs. ENOUGH!!! I got enough of that!!! I'm sick of that!!! I'm sick of all the things that surround me such as jokes for example. You all will think that I might be gone mad. But I tell you, I really got enough of that. I really can't take it anymore.
Every seconds, I'm struggling, fighting, and wrestle with the pressure that inside me. You all might think that the stupid pressure that inside me might be something easy to overcome such as study pressure. Well, I tell you not because if it's just like what in your mind, it would have no problem for me and I'm pretty sure that I can beat it off easily. But, too bad, it's not.
This pressure can't be explained. Even I'm fighting with it for so long, I still can't explain and I still can't find a way to overcome it, to defeat it. Every seconds now, I'm struggling, fighting and wrestle with it. I've tried my best and all my methods to overcome it but at last I still can't beat it. And now, the condition turn even worse and I find myself very near to the losing side.
For a moment, I thought of suicide to end all of it. Unfortunately, I've promised someone that I must live on and my life is no longer belongs to myself because there is one time the someone told that my life belongs to her. She will securing my life and I myself don't have the right to take it away. Due to that, I can't die or rather i don't have the right to die. Hahaha!!! Funny right?
But i really don't know what can I do now. No ways I can sweep way or beat the pressure. Every seconds, I suffer so much that I think that my surroundings are totally like hell. I really can't take it anymore and any longer.
For a moment, I thought that I've beaten the pressure and I'm the winner. The pressure is no longer inside me. But, at last, I find out that it is still inside me. It's impossible to beat it. I'm exhausted and very tired of fighting. I'm in the condition that I can't neither survive nor die. This is the worst condition in everyone's life.
After consulting an experience and knowledgeable person, I found out that the pressure that I'm fighting with for so long or rather my toughest, strongest, hardest opponent is actually..........No matter who or what my opponent or challenge is, I will just beat the person or it with all I got but I've never face such an opponent. I've given all I got. Frankly, I can't win. I'm in the condition which I want to give up and say I QUIT!!!
My toughest, strongest and hardest opponent is..........
MY HEART!!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I Don't Know!!!
First of all, I apologize for not updating LL's Pages for a very long time. It had been months since my last post. Frankly speaking, I am lazy to update it. Besides, I find no topics of interest to tell. To be short, I promise to update it frequently.
Today, is the day I've never been or gone through in my entire life. I will not tell anybody about it. Just some people who are related to this business know about it.
Today is my off day. I should be very happy and relax. I should sleep till very late in the afternoon. Then enjoy listening to songs, reading storybooks, watching tv. However, life is not so simple. No day will pass so simple just like that.
A lot of people including myself wish to have a simple life but impossible. It is not a life if it's simple. Worries, confuse, obstacles, challenges, sufferings are some of the basics things that we've to go through in our life. For example a day, no one will go through a day without any difficulties. No day will pass just like that. In other word, no day is meaningless.
Today, I am really confused and blur. I don't know what am I doing. Just now I went out with friends, I've done some silly mistakes. For example, during talk, I misuse my words. Besides, while we are walking on the street, I walked to the wrong direction.
Don't ask me what happen. I won't answer no matter what.
For now, I....................
Don't know what to say....................
I can just listening to it....................
Today, is the day I've never been or gone through in my entire life. I will not tell anybody about it. Just some people who are related to this business know about it.
Today is my off day. I should be very happy and relax. I should sleep till very late in the afternoon. Then enjoy listening to songs, reading storybooks, watching tv. However, life is not so simple. No day will pass so simple just like that.
A lot of people including myself wish to have a simple life but impossible. It is not a life if it's simple. Worries, confuse, obstacles, challenges, sufferings are some of the basics things that we've to go through in our life. For example a day, no one will go through a day without any difficulties. No day will pass just like that. In other word, no day is meaningless.
Today, I am really confused and blur. I don't know what am I doing. Just now I went out with friends, I've done some silly mistakes. For example, during talk, I misuse my words. Besides, while we are walking on the street, I walked to the wrong direction.
Don't ask me what happen. I won't answer no matter what.
For now, I....................
Don't know what to say....................
I can just listening to it....................
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Revenge!!!
Sorry for updating late.
As everyone who viewed my page know, I failed my computer test for my driving license.
Fortunately, I pass the retake.
The results for my trial which I tried the test several times at home.
Passing marks: 42/50
1st trial: 46/50
2nd trial: 47/40
3rd trial: 45/50
4th trial: 45/50
5th trial: 47/50
6th trial: 45/50
The final result which is the result of my real computer test.
Final Real Computer Test Results: 49/50
As everyone who viewed my page know, I failed my computer test for my driving license.
Fortunately, I pass the retake.
The results for my trial which I tried the test several times at home.
Passing marks: 42/50
1st trial: 46/50
2nd trial: 47/40
3rd trial: 45/50
4th trial: 45/50
5th trial: 47/50
6th trial: 45/50
The final result which is the result of my real computer test.
Final Real Computer Test Results: 49/50
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Don't Take Things For Granted
Hours later, I will be going out.
Cheh!!! Going out only also tell for what.
Hah!!!
I am going to take driving license. And I am scare.....
LOL! Like that also scare.
I tell you that this time I retake.
LOL! Noob!!! Need retake.
Last time I failed because of I go there with nothing.
Nothing? What you mean?
Mean I didn't study the license books before. Since 3 weeks before I went for the driving course, I didn't even touch the books.
Hahaha!!! You deserve this!!!
Yup. I know I deserve to fail but I failed by just 1 question. If another question is correct, I won't be posting this post. The passing marks is 42 but I got 41. Then, I need to pay 40 bucks for the retake.
LOL!!! Not worth.
As a conclusion, do not take things easy and do not take things for granted. My test result will be posted later.
Cheh!!! Going out only also tell for what.
Hah!!!
I am going to take driving license. And I am scare.....
LOL! Like that also scare.
I tell you that this time I retake.
LOL! Noob!!! Need retake.
Last time I failed because of I go there with nothing.
Nothing? What you mean?
Mean I didn't study the license books before. Since 3 weeks before I went for the driving course, I didn't even touch the books.
Hahaha!!! You deserve this!!!
Yup. I know I deserve to fail but I failed by just 1 question. If another question is correct, I won't be posting this post. The passing marks is 42 but I got 41. Then, I need to pay 40 bucks for the retake.
LOL!!! Not worth.
As a conclusion, do not take things easy and do not take things for granted. My test result will be posted later.
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